Friday, November 29, 2013

beautiful things aren't.

Why should I do this now.

I had the steps in order. Everything was set up just so. No, no - it was close, though.

How do you tell someone you would rather die than sleep with them.
Not even a question. Statements. I don't want to see my psychologist anymore. I want to go to Seattle. I want to drown in a lake like all good girls do. I want a scar that runs from my larynx to my sternum, strand of silver and deep purple.



He gives me a necklace I can't remove, of plum and berry, blush, jaundice yellow. It's enough for the moment until I'm alone. I feel the teeth until they're gone. I can't hold onto it as long as I'd like.

This new punishment isn't enough.
I need to think.




I wasn't supposed to be so permanent.

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